Possible link between anesthesia and ADHA in young children

 By: Fox News, Health

Young children with multiple exposures to anesthesia have had increased rates of ADHD, new research has revealed.

Researchers from the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota have done a retrospective study on children who had been exposed to anesthesia at an early age.  They found that for those children who were given anesthetics two or more times before the age of three, their risk of developing ADHD more than doubled.

The research, led by Dr. David Warner, a Mayo Clinic pediatric anesthesiologist, was prompted by similar research involving young animals.

“There started to be some papers published that suggested if you administered anesthesia to animals during development, it would cause some of the nerve cells in the brain to die, which would then lead to later changes in learning and behavior,” Warner told FoxNews.com.  ”I and my colleagues had a real difficult time believing this would be true in children, so we tried to think of some way to look at this in people.”

Warner recalled the Mayo Clinic had done some research looking at the epidemiology of learning disorders in children born from 1976 to 1982 in Rochester, Minn.  Out of the 341 cases they reviewed, children with no anesthesia exposure or just a single exposure to anesthesia had ADHD at a rate of about 7.3 percent.  Children who had two or more exposures had ADHD at a rate of 17.9 percent. The researchers also tried to adjust for other risk factors, such as gestational age, sex, birth weight, and comorbid health conditions.

While the results are initially staggering, Warner cautioned that people should not to jump to conclusions.  Because the study was done retrospectively, the data does not necessarily indicate a causative relationship.

“What we’re trying to emphasize with this study is that we’re not proving anesthesia causes problems.  We really can’t say anything about what’s causing the findings we see.  But there is an association here,” Warner said. “When you put these results together with the animal studies that have been done, it makes us concerned.”

Though the team can’t definitively say why anesthesia would increase a child’s ADHD, they have a few theories after studying the animal research.

“What they understand from the animal studies so far, is that as your brain develops it normally goes through a process where some of the nerve cells die,” Warner said.  ”In order for new connections to be made, old connections need to be abolished.  What appears to be happening in these animals is that exposure to anesthesia accelerates this process of nerves dying – dying prematurely appears to interfere with some of the connections that need to be made that are important for learning and memory.”

Even though their results are not sufficient enough to draw conclusions, Warner said there’s enough evidence for him and his team to continue to search for answers.  The next step would be for them to create an experimental study of their own.

“Now we need to do more studies in children to either confirm the findings we find or not,” Warner said.  ”I would be very happy if someone were to refute our findings.  As an anesthetic pediatrician, this is not something I want to see.  We’re hoping this kind of research will stimulate more studies in both animals and kids so we know what’s going on if indeed anything is going on.”

“But we’re still several years away from having a more definitive answer,” he added.

Organic foods: secret source of dietary arsenic?

 By: Fox Health

The “organic” food health craze has provided a health-conscious generation with more nutritious food options.

But as it turns out, some of the foods you think are making you healthier may in fact contain a very toxic ingredient – arsenic.

A team of researchers from Dartmouth have revealed many organic food products that contain a supplement known as organic brown rice syrup have a much higher concentration of dietary arsenic than foods without the syrup.  They tested numerous organic foods with the ingredient, including infant formulas, cereal and energy bars, and energy supplements used by marathoners and cyclists.

One of the infant formulas tested had a degree of arsenic six times the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) safe drinking water limit of 10 parts per billion (ppb).

Brian Jackson, research associate professor and lead author of the study, said the study stemmed from previous studies the team had done on arsenic in baby formulas.

“The main brand infant formulas were pretty low,” Jackson told FoxNews.com.  ”Then I was at a local super market and saw two infant formulas we hadn’t run, and they had 20 to 30 times higher rates of arsenic than all of the other main brand infant formulas.  I looked at the label and the first ingredient I saw was organic brown rice syrup.”

“I’d done work on arsenic in rice before, and we knew rice can take quite a high concentration of arsenic, so immediately thought the arsenic was from the rice syrup,” Jackson said.  ”So it got me thinking what other foods contain brown rice syrup.”  

Organic brown rice syrup increasingly is being used in organic foods as a healthier sweetener option.  The brown rice variant is (also) typically used as an alternative for high fructose corn syrup after criticism surfaced that corn syrup was a much more harmful component than sugar and was substantially adding to the obesity epidemic.

Rice’s tendency to have higher concentrations of arsenic is a result of how it grows.  When rice is cultivated, it absorbs a compound known as silica, which helps the plant grow more vigorously.  In the conditions in which rice is grown, arsenic closely resembles silica, so the plant absorbs it as well.

Brown rice absorbs even more arsenic than white rice because a lot of the arsenic in the rice grain exists in the husk of brown rice.

Previous tests of drinking water have shown a link between high arsenic concentration and an increased risk for some cancers and cardiovascular disease.  However, Jackson said it’s too early to determine the potential dangers of eating too much organic brown rice syrup.

“We really don’t know what the risks are,” Jackson said. “We have a good handle on what the risks of arsenic are through drinking water, but those calculations are based on a lifetime of exposure.  Whereas, arsenic in food is a different issue.  Your diet choices are variable, so some items may contain arsenic and some don’t.  So it’s hard to make those comparisons.”

While the researchers aren’t looking to scare people away from eating organic foods, they are hoping people will be better informed about the foods that they choose.  The team also hopes their study will encourage the FDA to establish better guidelines in terms of organic foods, specifically infant formulas.  They feel babies could be affected by these arsenic levels the most.

“Infants are the ones who get a disproportionate arsenic exposure,” Jackson said.  ”Our limits are based on our weights, and infant’s have very low body weights, so they are getting a comparatively large dose.  That’s a lot of arsenic.”

Could your Valentine’s kiss give you lead poisoning?

I know – again – a bit late – but hey – kissing is always interesting – and since we are mainly kissing our kiddos instead of our stud muffins, I really thought that it might be worth while!

 By: Fox Health

If you’re going to be on either end of a kiss this Valentine’s Day, you might want to consider smooching bare-lipped. Most lipstick contains lead.

Lead has been banned in paint since 1978 because of its toxicity at low levels, but it still shows up in small amounts in some of the best-selling lipstick brands.

The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, which did an analysis of a study of lead in lipstick conducted by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, wants consumers to know that most of the 400 different lipsticks tested were positive for the substance.

“Recognizing that there is no safe level of lead exposure, we need to be protecting women and children from all levels of exposure,” said Stacy Malkan, co-founder of the campaign-a non-profit coalition of environmental- and cancer-prevention groups.

Malkan’s group wants the FDA to set a limit for how much lead lipstick can contain and to study whether there are any dangers to having the substance applied to human lips, particularly the lips of children and pregnant women. “We know that ingestion of lipstick happens. It gets into our bodies,” she said, noting that lead accumulates in people.

The group said that five of the nine lipstick brands with the most lead are sold by L’Oreal, the world’s largest cosmetics maker.

L’Oreal’s “Color Sensational” Pink Petal had the most lead of any lipstick tested at 7.19 parts per million. By comparison, children’s products sold in the U.S. are forbidden to have more than 100 parts per million of lead.

“The FDA’s independent study, which will be published in the May/June 2012 issue of the Journal of Cosmetic Science, confirms that lipsticks pose no safety concerns for the millions of women who use them daily,” L’Oreal said in a statement sent to Reuters. “The lead levels detected by the FDA in the study are also within the limits recommended by global public health authorities for cosmetics, including lipstick.”

The FDA, for its part, agreed there is no cause for alarm.

“The FDA did not find high levels of lead in lipstick,” FDA spokeswoman Tamara Ward said. “We developed and tested a method for measuring lead in lipstick and did not find levels that would raise health concerns.”

Still, Malkan said the government should take some more steps to ensure the safety of those who use lipstick. An advisory committee to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has taken a position that there is no safe level of lead for children. So, why asked Malkan should it be OK for their to be lead in lipstick? And, in particular, for certain brands to have more than others?

“There are no safety standards,” Malkan said.

So, if you’re still lead conscious, consider how you’ll handle your lips and those you’ll be sharing them with this Valentine’s Day.

6 amazingly romantic getaways

        Ok – So I am a little late for the Valentine’s day stuff – but any type of romantic getaway is always a great idea!

 

by: Fox Travel

Heart-shaped tubs and chocolate are so last year.  This Valentine’s Day spark romance — and a little adventure — with an amazing, and a little over-the-top romantic excursion.   

From a couples massage in a gondola, to a private luxury lingerie fitting, to couples yoga and a cozy sleigh ride, hotels and resorts across the country are pulling out the stops and offering some pretty amazing packages. 

Rachel Sussman, relationship expert and author of the Breakup Bible (Three Rivers Press) insists that couples must find the time to get away together. “If you don’t nurture the relationship, it could easily go into a danger zone,” says the New York City-based psychotherapist. 

And it’s not as simple as going on a trip. Sussman encourages those in relationships to find activities couples can do together while traveling  – to strengthen their bonds in addition to creating priceless memories. 

“These are really nice ways for couples to reconnect with each other and it makes them feel happy,” Sussman said. “It enhances the lifeblood of a relationship. It enables you to reconnect to what you fell in love with your partner about.” 

Here are six unique and extravagant packages from coast to coast are offering this year during the month of love: 

An Intimate Upgrade at the W Hotels, New York City, N.Y.

The W Hotels have teamed up with luxury lingerie designer Kiki de Montparnasse to debut the “Ignite” package – what the hotel is calling “the ultimate sensual experience for couples this Valentine’s Day.” After checking into a luxurious suite, guests will take a private car service to Kiki de Montparnasse where they will have a private consultation and fitting. “It offers couples a unique New York experience by giving them insider access to Kiki de Montparnasse’s Romance Salon and an opportunity to heat up their relationship both in and out of their W hotel room,” said Vera Manoukian, area managing director of Starwood Hotels of New York and New Jersey. 

Guests will receive a 20 percent discount on all Kiki de Montparnasse Collection purchases. The package is available during the month of February at W New York, W New York – Downtown, W New York – Times Square and W New York – Union Square. “Ignite” guests will also enjoy in-room champagne service and a late check-out with rates starting at $689. 

Jewelry is a Girl’s Best Friend at Mandarin Oriental, Munich, Germany

Don’t worry about finding a gift for the lady you love. The Valentine’s package available throughout the month of February at the Mandarin Oriental in Munich, Germany – includes a NUDO ring from the new collection by Pomellato and a six-course dinner at the hotel’s Michelin starred restaurant, Mark’s. The room is complete with chocolate dipped strawberries, a bottle of Dom Pérignon vintage champagne, rose petal turn-down service and a champagne breakfast-in-bed for two. The Valentine’s package includes one night accommodations for two in a double room or suite and starts at $4,326. 

Voga Voyage at Loews Coronado Bay Resort, Coronado, Calif.

Forget heading to the spa for a couples massage. Enjoy a floating treatment with your special someone aboard Loews Coronado Bay Resort’s 33-foot gondola. After departing from the resort’s private marina, couples relax with a soothing sunscreen application, as well as a 40-minute massage. 

“Cool sea breezes and the gentle rocking of the gondola as it cruises the canals and waterways of the Coronado Cays add an unforgettable element to this already unique experience,” said Brian Johnson, the general manager of Loews Coronado Bay Resort. During the final 10 minutes of the scenic cruise, guests are served with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. The Voga Voyage spa package starts at $400 per couple. Guest rooms during the month of February are available from $149. 

Travaasa is for Lovers, Austin, Tex.  

From aphrodisiac culinary demonstrations to couples medicine ball routines – Travaasa Austin offers 12 to 25 classes per day to help guests relax their minds and re-energize their relationships. For foodies, the experiential resort offers breakfast in bed and romantic dinner for two culinary demonstrations. For the focused, couples can take part in a relationship strength challenge or partner yoga session. Those interested in free-spirited activities can try a romantic dance or energy vibrations of love meditation class. 

“People can really select from a range of things to do, no matter what their fitness level is, age, area of interest and energy level,” said Kristine Huffman, programming manager at Travaasa Austin. “What we’re working on in the month of February is focusing on allowing couples to get away, get together and design a weekend together that brings them closer.” 

The “Travaasa is for Lovers” package includes two nights’ accommodations, daily breakfast, a romantic dinner, wine and cheese selections upon check-in, two $125 spa credits and access to the array of classes. Packages start at $379.50 per person (double occupancy). 

Sleigh Ride for Two at Squaw Creek, Lake Tahoe, Calif.

The sparks can start flying early in the evening as couples can snuggle close in a private horse-drawn sleigh ride for two. Lake Tahoe’s “Ultimate Valentine’s Getaway” package includes two nights’ accommodations in a deluxe guest room at the Resort at Squaw Creek, champagne delivered upon arrival, two adult lift tickets to Squaw Valley USA, two 50-minute spa treatments, complimentary valet parking and nightly turndown service. 

“Lake Tahoe is a winter wonderland, and Resort at Squaw Creek at the base of Squaw Valley is the perfect place for Valentine’s romance with horse-drawn sleigh rides, dog sled tours, and ‘Amore Under the Stars’ evening outdoor ice skating session with romantic music and hot cider,” said Eric Sather, general manager of the Resort at Squaw Creek. The package is listed at $999 per couple and available Feb.12 – Feb. 15. 

Proposing at Stowe Mountain Lodge, Stowe, Vt.

Ready to pop the question this Valentine’s Day? Take the stress out of planning the proposal by calling the proposal concierge, Calais Van Horn, at Stowe Mountain Lodge. Van Horn can help every guy come up with an unforgettable way to surprise their bride-to-be and take care of all of the details so all he has to think about is saying the four precious words. 

For the adventurous couple, they can choose between dog sledding, a snow shoe scavenger hunt, a snow shoe tour, a sleigh ride, lift tickets for skiing or riding, snowmobiling, zip lining, or ice climbing for the “Winter Wonderland” package, which is $1,700. 

If the love of your life would more appreciate a relaxing, retreat weekend, the “Pamper” package includes a spa day, complete with a private yoga class and two 50-minute spa treatments for $1,650. 

Both weekend packages include two nights stay in Ridgeline studio, dinner for two at Solstice on Saturday, champagne and roses as well as breakfast for two each morning. Van Horn says those two packages are just the start of options at Stowe. 

“We certainly work with anybody to customize anything and make it happen,” Van Horn said. “We can do anything under the sun. We want this to be a completely enjoyable experience for both of them.” 

The hopeful groom-to-be can also book a professional videographer or photographer disguised as a tourist, employee or guide to capture the moment.

Do Ocean Waves Really Travel in Sets of 7?

Eli MacKinnon

Surf’s up, bro – but why? Maybe you heard it from a beach bum with a physics hobby, maybe you heard it from an ancient mariner having a moment of clarity on shore leave, or maybe you heard it from your dad on vacation. In all cases, the claim usually goes something like this: Ocean waves travel in groups of seven, and the seventh wave is the biggest of the bunch.

As would be expected with such a motley group of purveyors, this sea yarn turns out to be well-meaning but basically false. The short answer for why it’s false is that you just can’t predict the motion of the great wide ocean that easily. The short answer for why it’s sort of true is that, well, sometimes you almost can.

To understand why waves don’t neatly adhere to received wisdom, you have to follow them to their source. Contrary to another widespread fallacy, the formation of waves has nothing to do with the moon (unlike the rise and fall of the tide). The ocean surface waves that we see rolling onto the beach are caused by one thing: wind.

Groundhogs Day

StormFax Weather Almanac

Copyright © 1996-2012 STORMFAX, Inc.In 1723, the Delaware Indians settled Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania as a campsite halfway between the Allegheny and the Susquehanna Rivers.  The town is 90 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, at the intersection of Route 36 and Route 119.  The Delawares considered groundhogs honorable ancestors.  According to the original creation beliefs of the Delaware Indians, their forebears began life as animals in “Mother Earth” and emerged centuries later to hunt and live as men.

The name

Punxsutawney

comes from the Indian name for the location

 

“ponksad-uteney” which means “the town of the sandflies.”

 

The name

woodchuck

comes from the Indian legend of “Wojak,

 

the groundhog” considered by them to be their ancestral grandfather.

When German settlers arrived in the 1700s, they brought a tradition known as Candlemas Day, which has an early origin in the pagan celebration of Imbolc.  It came at the mid-point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.  Superstition held that if the weather was fair, the second half of Winter would be stormy and cold.  For the early Christians in Europe, it was the custom on Candlemas Day for clergy to bless candles and distribute them to the people in the dark of Winter.  A lighted candle was placed in each window of the home.  The day’s weather continued to be important.  If the sun came out February 2, halfway between Winter and Spring, it meant six more weeks of wintry weather.

The earliest American reference to Groundhog Day can be found at the Pennsylvania Dutch Folklore Center at Franklin and Marshall College:

February 4, 1841

- from Morgantown, Berks County (Pennsylvania) storekeeper James Morris’ diary…”Last Tuesday, the 2nd, was Candlemas day, the day on which, according to the Germans, the Groundhog peeps out of his winter quarters and if he sees his shadow he pops back for another six weeks nap, but if the day be cloudy he remains out, as the weather is to be moderate.”

According to the old English saying:

If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Winter has another flight.
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Winter will not come again.

From Scotland:

If Candlemas Day is bright and clear,
There’ll be two winters in the year.

From Germany:

For as the sun shines on Candlemas Day,
So far will the snow swirl until May.
For as the snow blows on Candlemas Day,
So far will the sun shine before May.

And from America:

If the sun shines on Groundhog Day;
Half the fuel and half the hay.

If the sun made an appearance on Candlemas Day, an animal would cast a shadow, thus predicting six more weeks of Winter.  Germans watched a badger for the shadow.  In Pennsylvania, the groundhog, upon waking from mid-Winter hibernation, was selected as the replacement.

Pennsylvania’s official celebration of Groundhog Day began on February 2nd, 1886 with a proclamation in The Punxsutawney Spiritby the newspaper’s editor, Clymer Freas: “Today is groundhog day and up to the time of going to press the beast has not seen its shadow.”  The groundhog was given the name “Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather Prophet Extraordinary” and his hometown thus called the “Weather Capital of the World.”  His debut performance: no shadow – early Spring.

The legendary first trip to Gobbler’s Knob was made the following year.

Since the 1993 release of the film Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray as a TV weatherman (who wakes up and it’s Groundhog Day over and over again!) and Andie MacDowell as his puzzled producer, attendance at the real event has expanded.  In 1997, there were 35,000 visitors in Punxsutawney, five times the Jefferson County town’s 6,700 population.

The Groundhog Day festivities on February 2, 1992 were joined by Bill Murray studying for his role in the movie.  Then, Columbia Pictures set out to recreate the Punxsutawney Groundhog Day down to the smallest detail.  There were, however, many changes made.

Columbia Pictures decided to film the movie in a location more accessible to a major metropolitan center.  The highways in and around Punxsutawney were few, so Woodstock, Illinois was chosen as the site.  Unfortunately, Woodstock’s landscape doesn’t have Pennsylvania’s scenic rolling hills.  Nevertheless, adjustments were made for the production.  The actual Gobbler’s Knob is a wooded hill with a beautiful view; the Gobbler’s Knob in the movie is moved to the town square.  The Punxsutawney Gobbler’s Knob was recreated to scale in Woodstock’s town square based on detailed notes and videos the crew made on it’s visit to Punxsutawney.    [Photo: © Columbia Pictures]

The movie’s script was changed to include the elaborate ceremony of the Inner Circle on Groundhog Day.  The original groundhog cast for the movie was considered to be too small.

Some of the store names in Punxsutawney were used in the movie, such as The Smart Shop and Stewart’s Drug Store.  Punxsutawney’s police cars were also recreated for the movie.  The groundhog-head trash cans and Groundhog Festival flags that line the streets of Punxsutawney were displayed.  Folks traveling to Punxsutawney to see the “Punxsutawney” they saw in the movie wonder why it looks “so different, yet seems so similar.”

The groundhog, also known as a woodchuck (Marmota monax), is a member of the squirrel family.  Groundhogs in the wild eat succulent green plants, such as dandelion, clover, and grasses.

According to handlers John Griffiths and Ben Hughes, Phil weighs 15 pounds and thrives on dog food and ice cream in his climate-controlled home at the Punxsutawney Library.

Up on Gobbler’s Knob, Phil is placed in a heated burrow underneath a simulated tree stump on stage before being pulled out at 7:25 a.m. to make his prediction.

How Accurate Are Punxsutawney Phil’s Groundhog Day Forecasts?

Remy Melina

As the legend goes, if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow on Feb. 2, six more weeks of winter weather lay ahead; no shadow indicates an early spring. Phil, a groundhog, has been forecasting the weather on Groundhog Day for more than 120 years, but just how good is he at his job?

Not very, it turns out.

Punxsutawney Phil was first tasked with predicting the upcoming spring weather in 1887, and the process hasn’t changed much since. The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, of Punxsutawney, Penn., takes care of Phil year-round, and on each Feb. 2, members of the club’s Inner Circle rouse Phil at sunrise to see if he casts a shadow. (Contrary to popular belief, Phil doesn’t actually have to see his shadow — he just has to cast one to make his wintery prophecy .)

Why Does Hair Change as You Age?

Mary Beth Griggs

It’s a situation replayed constantly in hair salons across the country. A client comes in whose long-time hairdresser notices that something is a little bit different. The client’s hair texture has changed, becoming more curly (or straight) since the first time they walked in the door years ago.

But why the shift? Many stylists, and even some doctors, say the change is driven by changing hormones throughout a person’s life, especially during events like pregnancy and menopause.

Unfortunately this hypothesis hasn’t gone through rigorous scientific testing. Lynne Goldberg, Director of the Hair Clinic at Boston University School of Medicine, said that while she has seen hair texture change over time in patients, she is unaware of any studies that look into the reasons for a gradual change in hair texture in otherwise healthy patients.

Sudden changes in hair texture, however, can indicate more serious problems, some of which are related to hormone shifts. “I think it is well known that thyroid disease can change hair texture,” Goldberg said. Abrupt changes in hair texture, especially growing finer or more brittle, could indicate underlying conditions like hypothyroidism, especially when accompanied with other symptoms. Other documented causes of hair change are associated with HIV infection and chronic malnutrition, during which hair can grow in straighter and weaker.

Quirky Discipline Rules That Work

By Barbara Rowley

I’ve made a lot of bad rules in the decade I’ve been a mom, from irrational threats (“No graham crackers in the house ever again if you eat them in the living room even one more time”) to forbidding human nature (“You may not fight with your sister”). But occasionally I’ve come up with rules that work better than I’d ever contemplated. These made-up rules have an internal logic that defies easy categorization, but their clarity and enforceability make them work. Several of them are not, technically, rules at all, but declarations of policy or fact. And they’re all easy to remember. A few personal favorites, plus those of other moms:

Rule #1: You can’t be in the room when I’m working unless you work, too

Goal: Get your child to help, or stop bugging you, while you do chores

It might seem odd, but I don’t mind doing laundry, cleaning floors, or really any kind of housework. But I do mind my kids, oblivious to the fact that my arms are full of their underwear, asking me to find their missing doll shoe or do a puzzle with them. Until recently, this was a source of great frustration, especially when our household grew to five kids when my husband, Taylor, and I became temporary foster parents for two months.

I tried to explain to my expanded brood that if they helped me fold laundry, we could do something together sooner. But they knew I’d be available anyway if I finished folding myself, so the argument wasn’t compelling.

And then one day, as my oldest foster daughter sat and watched me work, asking me favors and waiting for me to be done, I came up with a rule that takes into account two important facts about kids:

* They actually want to be with you as much as possible.

* You can’t force them to help you in any way that is truly helpful.

I played fact one against fact two and told her that she didn’t have to help me but couldn’t just sit and watch. She had to go elsewhere. Given a choice between being with me and folding laundry or not being with me at all, she took option one.

Why it works: I didn’t care which she chose. And it was her choice, so it gave her control even as it took it away.

No more late nights

Rule #2: I don’t work past 8 p.m.

Goal: Regular bedtimes and time off for you

You can’t just announce a rule to your husband and kids that says, “Bedtime has to go really smoothly so I can get a break at the end of the day.” It won’t happen. But if you flip the problem and make a rule about you instead of telling everyone what they have to do, it all falls neatly  – and miraculously  – into place.

When this occurred to me, back when my oldest was 6 and my youngest was nearly 2, I announced to Anna and Taylor that the U.S. Department of Labor had just created a new rule and I was no longer allowed to do any kind of mom jobs past 8:00 in the evening. I would gladly read books, play games, listen to stories of everyone’s day, give baths  – the whole mother package  – before then. Then I held firm  – I acted as if it were out of my hands. Sort of like Cinderella and midnight.

Suddenly, my 6-year-old (and my husband) developed a new consciousness of time. My daughter actually rushed to get ready for bed just after dinner so that we could have lots of books and time together before I was “off.” My husband, realizing that if things dragged past 8:00 he’d have to face putting both girls to sleep himself, became more helpful. Anna’s now 11, and my hours have been extended, but the idea that I’m not endlessly available has been preserved and integrated into our family routine.

Why it works: You’re not telling anyone else what to do. The rule is for you, so you have only yourself to blame if it’s not enforced.

Rule #3: You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit

Goal: No more haggling  – over which pretzel has more salt or who gets their milk in the prized red cup and who in the cursed green, or which cast member of Blue’s Clues adorns whose paper plate

My friend Joyce, director of our town’s preschool, told us about this terrific rule, now repeated by everyone I know on playgrounds and at home. Not only does it have a boppy rhythm that makes it fun to say, but it does good old “Life isn’t fair” one better by spelling out both the essential truth of life’s arbitrary inequities and the only acceptable response to the world’s unfairness: You don’t throw a fit.

When I first heard this, I was skeptical. It seemed too simple. But to my utter surprise, not only did it do the trick but kids seemed to rally around it almost with relief. They must have seen that if it applied to them today it might apply to someone else tomorrow.

Why it works: It’s irrefutable  – it almost has the ring of runic or prehistoric truth to it  – and rather than focusing on an abstract notion like “fairness,” it speaks directly to the situation at hand.

Rule #4: Take that show on the road

Goal: Peace and quiet

Is it just me or does someone saying “one-strawberry, two-strawberry, three-strawberry” over and over in a squeaky voice make you want to smash some strawberries into a pulpy mess? I want my kids to be gleefully noisy when they need and want to be. But I don’t feel it’s necessary that I be their audience/victim past a few minutes or so, or that I should have to talk (shout?) over their, um, joyous clamor when I’m on the phone. So once I’ve shown attention adequate to their display, I tell them that they’re free to sing, bang, chant, or caterwaul to their hearts’ content, just not here. The same goes for whining, tantrums, and generic pouting.

For the irrational and long-winded whining jags sometimes used by her 4-year-old son, my friend Denise has turned this rule to a pithy declaration: “I’m ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.” She then leaves the room.

Why it works: It gives children a choice rather than a prohibition and does so without rejecting them.

No money, no problems

Rule #5: We don’t argue about money

Goal: Short-circuit begging and pleading for stuff

This rule has to be enforced consistently to work, but the basic deal is that you can tell your child yes or no on any requested purchase, but you don’t discuss it. If your child protests, simply repeat, calmly, like a mantra, that you won’t argue about money. The key to success is that you have to have the courage of your convictions and not argue. Thus the calm repetition.

It cuts both ways, though: When your kids want to spend their “own” money, point out potential mistakes and give advice on the purchase if you’d like, but at the end of the day, don’t overrule them unless it’s a matter of health or safety. After all, you don’t argue about money. They may make some bad choices, but they’ll learn. And you’ll all enjoy shopping together a lot more.

Why it works: It shifts the focus from the whined-for treat to financial policy. You’re almost changing the topic on them, no longer debating why they should or shouldn’t have gum or some plastic plaything and, instead, invoking a reasonable-sounding family value.

Rule #6: I can’t understand you when you speak like that

Goal: Stopping whining, screaming, general rudeness

This one requires almost religious consistency of application to work effectively. But, essentially, you simply proclaim incomprehension when your child orders (rather than asks) you to do something, whines, or otherwise speaks to you in a way you don’t like. Whispering this helps; it takes the whole thing down a notch on the carrying-on scale. This is a de-escalation tool, so calmly repeat the rule a few times and don’t get lured into raising your voice. A child who’s whining or being rude is clearly seeking attention and drama, so use this as a way to provide neither.

Why it works: It empowers your child by suggesting he has something valuable to say (if he says it nicely) and allows you to completely invalidate (i.e., ignore) the rude presentation.

Rule #7: There’s no such thing as boredom

Goal: Prevent your child from saying “I’m bored”; teach her to entertain herself

A friend of mine says this is one of the few things he got right with his kids. The first time his older daughter claimed she was bored he simply denied that the thing existed. Now he sometimes adds: “There’s no such thing as boredom, only failure of the imagination” or “…only mental laziness.” Surprisingly he’s never gotten the “There is too boredom!” argument, only an exasperated “Da-ad.” Regardless of the phrasing, the result is the same: The burden of amusement lands directly on your child, which is precisely where you want it.

Why it works: By the time your kids have figured out the puzzle of how something that exists can also not exist, they won’t be bored. Also, it changes the terms of debate, from a challenge for you (list all my toys, then cave in and let me watch TV) to one for them. Besides  – if your child learns how to entertain herself, there truly is no such thing as boredom. And that’s a gift that will last all her life.

Contributing editor Barbara Rowley is searching for rules that will work with Smokey, the family dog.

Why Kids Lie – Age by Age

Honest advice for dealing with your child’s lies

By Juliette Guilbert, Parenting

“Daddy puts on your bras sometimes,” my then 4-year-old said nonchalantly as I tried on lingerie in a department store dressing room.

“Excuse me? When?” I asked, astonished.

“When you’re asleep,” she replied — and proceeded to describe how, early Saturday mornings, he’d slip a bra over his T-shirt and then jump on our mini-trampoline. She stuck to her tale so adamantly that later that day, I sheepishly asked my schoolteacher husband if he’d ever jokingly held one of my lacy underthings up to his chest (he hadn’t).

We laughed, but I felt unsettled. Lying to avoid punishment or to get an extra piece of pie — that I could understand. But Lillian was lying frequently, for kicks, and she’d never admit that a made-up story wasn’t true. Should I insist on honesty, I wondered, lest she develop into a pathological liar? Or let it slide, to avoid crushing her creativity?

The latter, apparently: The experts I quizzed about Lillian’s tale were unfazed. “There’s nothing wrong with her telling it,” says Michael Brody, M.D., a child psychiatrist in Potomac, Maryland. “Very young kids don’t know the difference between truth and fiction.”

In fact, this type of lying can be a sign of good things. “Preschoolers with higher IQ scores are more likely to lie,” says Angela Crossman, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York, who researched the subject. Early lying proficiency may also be linked with good social skills in adolescence.

Of course, not all kids’ lies are trivial incidents you can just laugh off — and you do want to raise a child who values honesty. Knowing the types of untruths kids tell at each stage, and why, can help you gently guide your own toward a level of truthfulness that’s appropriate for his age.

Toddlers: first fibs
It’s usually pretty obvious when one of Eric Lutzker’s 2-year-old twin boys, Merce and Jacob, has a dirty diaper. The trick is determining which one. “If you ask them, they’ll each simultaneously say the other’s name,” says the Seattle dad. “They don’t want to go through the rigmarole of a diaper change, so they lie about it.”

Such self-serving fibs are the first kinds of lies many young toddlers try out. As any mom of a toddler or preschooler can tell you, kids as young as 3 — sometimes even 2 — will tell very simple lies, denying they’ve done something or in order to gain something for themselves.

It doesn’t make sense to punish toddlers for truth bending, since they don’t get that what they’re doing is wrong. “If a two-year-old pulls the cat’s tail and says that her imaginary friend did it, the best response is to say, ‘The cat has feelings, too,’ ” says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., a child psychiatrist and author of Raising Kids With Character. “Don’t get into a wrangle to get the child to admit that she was the one.” An even better strategy is to avoid the showdown in the first place. “Rather than asking ‘Did you break the vase?’ say, ‘Look, the vase got broken,’ ” says Dr. Brody. “If you make an angry accusation, you’ll get a lie.”

Preschoolers: small people, tall tales
My daughter’s story about her dad wearing a bra is typical of 3- to 5-year-olds’ freewheeling relationship with reality. This is the age of invisible friends, horned monsters, and talking rainbows. Though she recently outgrew them, 4-year-old Lucy Sterba of El Cerrito, California, basked last year in the companionship of not one, but eight imaginary sisters, each with a name, birth date, and backstory. “The sisters did things Lucy couldn’t do, like wear pink dresses every day,” says her dad, Chris.

Preschoolers’ tall tales can be pure play, or sometimes wishful thinking (Lucy’s pretend sisters never had to eat mushrooms the way Lucy does, her mom notes). And it’s not unusual for young kids to insist, as Lucy did, that their fantasy world is real. “It’s not really a lie,” says Dr. Berger. “What your child indicates when he says ‘He’s real’ is the tremendous colorfulness, prominence, and importance of his imaginary friends.”

If a particular tall tale troubles you, it’s important to keep things in perspective. “If a child seems happy and has realistic relationships with the important people in his life, I would not be worried about his fantasizing. That’s what children did before there was TV,” Dr. Berger says. Remember that what seems outlandish to adults may simply be a child’s way of processing new ideas. After Lucy learned that her grandfather had died before she was born, several of her “sisters” suddenly died, too. “She would talk about it in a very matter-of-fact way,” Sterba says. “Our friends started to joke that there must be an epidemic.”

Schoolkids: they’ve got their reasons
Shea McMahon, 8, and his brother Jack, 6, of Austin, Texas, both denied pilfering their sister’s hospital newborn bracelet from a keepsake box. “I yelled and cajoled and said no Sunday breakfast for either one until they confessed,” says Shannon McMahon. A few minutes later, Jack owned up. But when his mom asked for details, he panicked. “Finally, he admitted, ‘I got nothin’. I just wanted you guys to stop asking,’ ” she says. Then Shea, the real perp, burst into tears.

Jack’s attempt to take the rap for his big brother signals an important developmental step: the ability to tell a white (or “prosocial”) lie — one that benefits someone else or is told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. “It actually shows a bit of social awareness and sensitivity,” says Crossman.

But as Shea’s fib by omission shows, 5- to 8-year-olds also still occasionally resort to the not-so-white lie. Kids this age do so for all sorts of understandable, even forgivable, reasons — for example, they’re afraid of how disappointed you’ll be or the punishment they’ll get, even because they’re pressed beyond their capabilities. (If, say, a kid’s having trouble with math, he might insist he has no math homework.) Before you send your child to his room or take away his TV privileges for the day, try to find out what drove him to lie, and take his reasons into consideration.

Tweens: growing fast and stretching the truth
When we had a Halloween party for my older daughter, Aurora’s, third-grade class, my husband made up a ghost story about “the rundown house up the block.” At the end, the girls cried, “Can we go see it?” At 9, they’d developed concrete ideas of truth and falsehood but were still naive about the gray area in between.

And speaking of gray areas, tweens are also apt to gloss over details of their lives they once freely spilled about. Don’t be surprised if your child keeps mum about things she would have shared with you a year or two before, like the latest lunch-table gossip. This new secretiveness isn’t dishonesty or a sign that your child is up to anything wrong. In fact, it reflects her growing maturity. “Kids who tell everything to their parents at age thirteen or fourteen are not growing up,” says Dr. Brody.

Of course, as your child gains more independence, he may take advantage of it by pulling a fast one from time to time. When 9-year-old Joey DeMille of San Diego asked his mother to stop “nagging” him about completing his daily reading log, she agreed to back off and let him take responsibility. “For the entire month of January, I didn’t ask him to show me his log,” she says, and Joey swore that he was filling it in daily. But when the time came to turn in the log, his mother was shocked to discover that it was nearly blank. “He had been lying to me all month long!” she says.

An occasional lie about homework, chores, or toothbrushing, while aggravating, is not unusual at this age. The best response usually is to simply express your displeasure. But if a tween lies chronically, he might need professional assistance to sort things out. “Children who are anxious, who feel that they can’t handle some kind of situation, may lie,” says Dr. Berger. “It could be a sign of any number of stresses that the child is under.” It could also be the sign of a smart kid who finds lying a convenient tactic.

The best way to steer your tween toward greater honesty? Set a good example yourself (no fudging his younger brother’s age to get cheaper movie tickets) and talk to him about how lying can damage your credibility and relationships. “It’s the kind of lesson that doesn’t sink in immediately,” says Crossman. What lesson ever does, especially with kids that age? But chances are your child will grow out of his fibbing — and into an honest-to-goodness adult.

Juliette Guilbert, a mother of two, lives near Seattle and is currently working on a book about kids and drug use.